A Deal Is Struck

[xiv-obsession.livejournal.com]

Who: Xion, Zexion
What: Just a talk
Where: Zexion's study in the lodge
When: After this thread.
Rating: G

Xion sat in the little study Zexion first brought her to. She had one of the books from the shelf in her hand and was busily thumbing through it. She was trying to keep from being bored since the others were elsewhere as far as she knew.

Zexion had been in his bed clothes, consisting of black, felt pajama pants and a plain black T-shirt, with the Nobody emblem stiched over the right breast, with the number VI underneath it. Today's events were still keeping him awake, long after he stopped reading and tried to get some sleep. Zexion had always been a light sleeper, but tonight was particularly sleepless. So... he might as well get some more reading in, preferably in dim light, so that he got sleepy. Zexion poured himself a glass of decaf, and entered his study, only to find a particular raven-haired replica in his chair. "Couldn't sleep either, Xion?" he asked pleasantly, and entered the room, closing the door behind them.

Upon hearing the door open, she looked up, then blushed and closed her jacket a little more. When coming to sit in the study, she'd only thrown her Organization coat on over the nightgown she typically wore.

Her embarrassment dissipated when she saw it was Zexion who'd come in. She gave him a slight smile, a sheepish one at that, as he mentioned her stealing his chair.

"Sorry...but yes, I couldn't sleep that well."

"I can't blame you, after today's events," he said calmly, and sat in a swivel-chair that was more fitting of being in a computer room, than a room meant for reading. He wasn't going to force Xion to get out of his chair. "I'm glad, at least, that Naminé was able to get some rest. She deserves at least one peaceful night."

"Yes," she said, her smile fading to a thoughtful frown as she remembered the girl's condition. "I'm so happy she's finally asleep. Seeing her cry...it...it hurt."

Zexion nodded in agreement. "It has been many years since I have seen someone that upset. She truly is special as a Nobody to feel emphatic to the suffering of others... I can't imagine what that is like." Zexion quieted himself by taking a sip of his decafinated coffee. No reading for him tonight, it seems... though it had been three nights since he was able to actually have a conversation with Xion. "Tell me, what you said earlier... did you mean that?"

She had been looking through the book again and digesting his words when he suddenly spoke up again. Her face went a slight bit of pink again. "I...I mean everything I say. Lying is...wrong."

Zexion sighed, and closed his eyes. "I see..." Zexion said quietly, and opened his eyes to look Xion in her sapphire orbs. "You truly trust me? Despite the obvious reservations you had against the previous Organization?"

Xion looked down at the pages of the book lying open in her lap. She didn't want to look into his eyes. If the oculars were windows to the soul like they say, she didn't want her own to be laid bare for scrutiny. Truly, she had lied, but just about her supposed belief lying was wrong. There were many times in the beginning where she refused to answer any questions he had asked of her. Though, she supposed, that didn't mean she was a liar. Evading the question and outright lying were two very different things.

"You're the only one of them, besides Roxas and Naminé, who's ever even been nice to me so much. Lexaeus and Xigbar are friendly but...they never seemed interested in me as a friend or anything." she said. She closed the book and set her hands on the front cover. "It may be foolish of me...but people who are kind to those they don't know usually are good people."

Zexion didn't answer at first. 'Good people?' Zexion had manipulated, used, and tricked many people. It was his specialty as a member of the Organization, and where he had received his epithet of 'Cloaked Schemer.' As for being kind to Xion... he had been kind to Roxas as well. It was simply his nature to be kind to everyone. That made him... 'good?'

"Well... thank you, in that case." Zexion said quietly. He took another sip of the warm drink, the steam condensating on his nose as he sipped the decaf. "Xion, there is something I've been meaning to ask you," he said quietly, closing his eyes again. "Suppose that there are more of us out there, who have survived. What will you do if they seek to rejoin us?"

She let him mull over his reply. It sounded a bit silly, now that she actually thought about it. Nobodies were the antithesis of people; people lacking hearts and emotions. Not a single one of them was supposed to be what she called 'good.' And yet...her brother and sister were clear contradictions.

Her eyes widened at the mention of others. Just from that, she came to the conclusion there just might be more than just their current numbers. After all, one didn't join Organization XIII for no reason. Only the strong and capable were permitted to wear the coat.

"If they rejoined..." she bit her lip lightly. "I...I suppose it depends on which ones they are. I don't really know any of you that well..."

Zexion opened his eyes at her response. "You spoke with Saïx fairly often before your missions, didn't you?" he asked, looking at her again. "I know you and I haven't spoken prior to this... I was sent to Castle Oblivion, and apparently, I never returned, given the information of my future." Zexion crossed his legs somewhat, and brushed his hair from his eye, only to have it fall back into place. Something that occasionally annoyed him, especially while bathing... but how could he cut it? He loved his hair. It had been his hair style ever since his youth.

"They would welcome you back, I am sure. Xemnas was the one who forbade you from becoming a full-fledged member, due to Roxas' existence, and the nature of your birth... and Xemnas has relinquished control over the Organization. Nothing is stopping you from coming back."

"Do you think so?" she asked. Suddenly her voice took a bit of a bitter tone to it as she said "I doubt that. The only thing that matters to the Organization is Kingdom Hearts. The only thing that would make me valuable at all to them is my skill with the keyblade. That's all Roxas and I were: tools for getting hearts. It isn't friendship that binds the Organization together, it's the sole desire to get individual hearts."

She went quiet for a moment to gather her thoughts. Her arms were folded under her breasts, and her blue eyes stayed closed to hide the emotion growing behind them. There had to be strings attached, there always were. As much as she trusted Zexion, she didn't trust the others at all. He might see her as a person, but the others wouldn't.

"I'd rather die and be forgotten again than be used as someone else's toy. There's no promise that that won't happen to me again if I join you."

Zexion shook his head, and sighed. He knew this would be difficult. "Axel and Roxas loved you, and thought of you as one of them. Who is to say that the rest of us couldn't appreciate you as well?" Zexion took another sip of the coffee, most of it gone now. "Take Lexaeus and I. He and I have been close friends since before we ever lost our hearts. He helped Ansem raise and educate me, until I was old enough to take part in the experiments as a true equal. I know what it is like to feel unappreciated... I was only a small child when I was first adopted by them."

Zexion sighed, remember his childhood. Thankfully, he couldn't feel sadness, otherwise he might have shed a tear or two. "My parents were killed when I was very young. Ansem found me one day, and raised me as his own. I never truly felt apart of their group until I was educated enough to understand the studies of the heart. When Xehanort betrayed Ansem, I had no choice but to side with him... I couldn't bear to lose the friends I had made. That is what caused me to join the Organization when it was formed... because I belonged. The others wanted me, and respected me. And now, Xehanort has betrayed us, the same way he betrayed Ansem."

Xion looked away. She'd never heard that story before, never from that perspective. What she knew of the founding members and their past lives was limited to reports she found. Hearing it from one of them in person...that was quite different. They remembered their lives. They once felt pain, sorrow, happiness; their memory of their emotions drove them forward. Since she was created to be little more than a reflection of Sora, she had no past memories of her own. Nothing of hers was truly her own possession, save for the new memories of life on Gaia.

"Maybe they would now, I suppose. Before...I know why they wouldn't have cared." she said softly. "All they saw was a hooded doll. No one saw what Roxas and Axel began to see."

Zexion leaned forward towards Xion, and placed his cup on his desk. The small mouthful of coffee vibrated as the cup was placed, and Zexion folded his hands together, lacing his fingers. "Because you had yet to give them a reason to appreciate you, before the Organization began to break at the seams. All they saw of you was a form of Plan B, should Roxas fail. I have seen the real you... I know that you are so much more than a back-up plan. You have a chance to prove all of the doubters wrong, and to show us that you are not only better than what they thought of you, but capable of standing among us as an equal."

Zexion raised his head, and looked at her dead in the eyes. "Xion... you can help us gain hearts. You can help us be happy again, and you can help me be able to truly appreciate you for what you are, not for what Xemnas had you created for."

'Well when he puts it like that...is there really any other option?' she thought. They could be regular people again if she helped them. Maybe they actually could work together as a group not unlike an extended family.

But what would she lose in giving herself to them once again? Becoming part of them meant giving up free life and becoming dedicated solely to the goal they all shared. Until then, they could be with no one but each other. No outsiders, no traveling unless it was to kill the Heartless. "But those people I've met...those kind people...will I have to abandon them and just hope their hearts aren't stolen?"

Zexion shook his head. "Xion, there was a reason I didn't allow Xehanort to steal Sora's body," he said quietly, and scooted his wheeled chair towards her. "Sora and Riku are vital to us gaining hearts. I disagreed with Xemnas' plans to use them, and to kill them. I also disagreed with the misuse of Naminé's powers. Sora and Riku, and indeed, you and Roxas, help us create Kingdom Hearts. If nothing else, we need to ensure of their survival, not abandon them."

Zexion then took her hand in his own. "When their hearts are freed by a Keyblade, they are able to find peace with Kingdom Hearts, rather than simply becoming another Heartless, and living a tortured existence. While I lack empathy, I know that you can understand that it is far more merciful to free them than to allow them to continue living as monsters. You are not only helping us, but you are helping all of those whose hearts have been taken by Darkness. That is why Sora and Riku deserve our help... that is why Xehanort cannot win. Both for us, and for them."

He was right, she did understand. One of her many reasons for leaving was her objection to the improper use of Kingdom Hearts. Xemnas never wanted to free them by returning them to the Nobodies who so needed them. He and Saïx both never wanted to truly help others like them. Xemnas proved that to the others when Xehanort attacked them. Worse still, he attacked Sora, who was the most important Keyblade Wielder their campaign needed.

Her fingers closed over his own as he held her hand, and she gave it the lightest squeeze. If she couldn't trust any of the Organization yet, at least Zexion was worth her trust. Roxas and Naminé would also only benefit from her aid. With a sigh, she gave a little nod as she looked back up at him. Her eyes were wet with tears waiting to be shed.

"Be my heart a well of love," she said softly. The song she heard it from had no connection to the Nobodies, but she felt it appropriate to give as her oath.

She was... crying? Were they tears of regret? Zexion couldn't tell; he didn't know how someone would feel given these circumstances. Instead, all he could do was raise his hand to Xion's face, trying his best to console her. "Good," he said quietly. "Your heart will have to make due for the lack of mine."

Xion tried to agree, but she could only mouth the words. She began trembling instead and shut her eyes to keep anymore tears from escaping. With a small sob, she leaned forward and slid her arms around the man's neck, her face buried in his shoulder. All she could do for several long moments was hold onto him and wet the cloth of his nightshirt with her tears. She couldn't understand why she was crying so, and in front of him no less. But as she had told herself so many times, he was the only one she trusted out of them all. Xion could afford to be weak in front of another, if only this once.

She really was crying. Why? What did Zexion do to upset her, or to make her happy? Was she upset because she rejoined the Organization? He couldn't understand... if he had a heart, he might have been able to, but at this moment... he was utterly dumbfounded. Still, he remembered that the polite gesture would be to comfort someone in this instance. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and placed his other hand on the back of her head, stroking it. "Xion..." he said quietly. He didn't say anything more, because he was afraid that whatever he was going to say next might have been the wrong thing to do. Her tears wet his shirt, which was an odd feeling. He just continued to stroke her head, and to embrace her.

"I'm...I'm sorry!" she managed to squeeze out before another sob came from her throat. This was just too much to handle in one day. When she had taken Naminé with her to the festival, she had just expected to have fun with her sister, then go back to Midgar and stay with Miss Aeris. She couldn't have even begun to fathom the party being ruined by the man she hated most, and then being offered to join with a group she had no reason before to trust. Eventually she calmed down, though she was shaking just a little. "I'm sorry...Today has just...I don't know."

She may have calmed down a bit, but Zexion did not release her. Frankly, he didn't know when it was appropriate to release her. He had never been in this situation before, much less with a girl. "There is no need to apologize, Xion," he said quietly. "Having you with us is comforting to me. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to help your friends."

After holding her for a solid minute, he finally decided that maybe he should release her. "Come. Let's get some sleep. Naminé will need for us to be at our peak tomorrow, won't she?"

"Thank you." she said, nodding slightly. She pulled out of his embrace slowly and wiped her eyes on her coat sleeve. She couldn't believe she just lost control of her emotions in front of him. Sure, he wouldn't tell anyone, but she was still so embarrassed. Xion stood up straight and cleared her throat. "Yeah...Nami needs me to be in my best condition..."

Zexion nodded. "Yes, she will. All of us. Come... let's get some sleep." With that, he released her, and stood up. He adjusted his shirt a bit from the spontaneous crying she did, and led her out of the room.